I arrive in Copenhagen early Sunday morning. I'm relieved to be off the plane, but nowhere near my destination. I stretch out my back and reorganize my carry on a little bit. After breezing through customs and retrieving my bags, I went on to plan the next leg of the race.
In order to get to Lund, one must take a train into Sweden. It sounded easy enough in my planning phase. Buy a ticket. Get on the train. Arrive in Lund. Follow my map to my reservation. Sounds like a slam dunk hey?
Well, I'll spare you the details and instead tell you that nothing ever happens like you plan when you're abroad. Unable to get cell service. Airport WiFi not working. Downloaded local area map not accurate. It was a real debacle.
But in the end, I manage to purchase my ticket and find my way to the train. Off I go like a speeding bullet, barreling down the tracks, and over the bridge that carries me into Sweden.
Isn't that just so beautiful?
I look out the window and try to remind myself that this is all real. This is my life right now. This is actually happening.
And before you know it, I have arrived.
Lund is a charming city with a current population of just under 90,000 people. Believed to have been founded in 990 by a Danish King, it was actually first a natural part of Denmark. It was later conquered by the Swedish Crown becoming a formal part of Sweden in 1658. #funfacts
I digress...
I get my bags off the train and find myself at Lund central station. After another series of unfortunate wrong turns and failed strategies, I finally cave and ask a very helpful staff member at a local shop to phone me a taxi. Now is not the time to be proud - I tell myself as I wait defeatedly with my baggage. If I had a nickel for every time someone had used the expression "you can't miss it" this morning, I wouldn't be concerned about all of my new student debt.
I make my way to my charming little Airbnb apartment. It's just perfect. Exactly what I need it to be. Cozy, quaint, well decorated, clean. Once inside, I feel my grand plans of buying groceries and continuing to read academic literature fading away. I admit to myself that this is exactly the moment that one needs a nap instead. Still feeling a little out of sorts and timid about this entire undertaking, I figure it is the best act of self-care that I could give myself right now. After all, I'm meeting all of my classmates tonight at our welcome reception....
After my brief intermission, I get myself up and into the shower. I feel a subtle sense of panic lingering over me. As much as I've tried to convince myself that this is all going to work out somehow, the fear of the unknown smothers me: it is thick, palpable, omnipresent. I find an outfit that I feel will work. I plan my walking route and quietly pray it all falls into place. I grab my jacket and I'm out the door.
I meet one of the owners of the Airbnb, Per, who is outside with his two pugs. The wild little dogs greet me with jubilee. Per tells me their names are "Sigruthur" and "Elvis". We exchange some pleasantries and I tell him where I'm headed. He insists on showing me a short cut, guiding me out onto the street so he can give me a series of verbal instructions accompanied by many, many hand gestures. I don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not equipped with the courage required for such strategic efficiencies. My only hope is to stick to my map. Especially if my morning has taught me anything at all.
I slowly make my way towards my destination....
We are gathering at the Pufendorf Institute on the university campus. All of our class days will be held in this building, as well.
I walk up the path and arrive 5 minutes early. Thank goodness. At least my big first impression is working out.
I meet a few other classmates arriving in synchrony with me. We are led up a spiral staircase to a meeting area. There is an impressive spread of food and drinks. The only item on the agenda is to be introduced to everyone and enjoy each others company.
Our evening begins slowly as more and more people trickle into the room. I start to realize that I'm not the only one who is a little out of their comfort zone. But as the night moves on, the room becomes more full and the sound of new friendship is all around us.
I start to shed some layers of fear and allow myself to embrace this moment. The more hands I shake, introductions I make, and smiles I exchange, the more I realize how utterly impressive this room of people is...
Denmark, Germany, Norway, Belgium, UK, Brazil, Australia, Canada, USA, the list goes on. There is an anethetist/ER physician, pharmacist, pilots, mariners, train and naval accident investigators, software and oil and gas engineers. One day, I'll try to put the complete list of participants together. It's really quite amazing.
But perhaps the most exciting thing of all, is that we have all come together in search of something. Our homes and our domains of practice are so diverse. But it is here that we have come to find strength: because we believe that although our worlds are different, safety can be shared. I bask in this hive of excited chatter and reflect on how significant this next week of collaboration will be.
About half way through the evening, we are called to attention by the head of the program.
He stands on the spiral staircase in the room and we gather to listen. He introduces himself as Johan Bergström - but tells us to just call him "JB" because he can barely pronounce his own name. We laugh with relief - or at least those of us from North America do.
"Very, very welcome to Lund University" he says. It is not the first time I've heard this today and I quite like it. There seems to be some sort of translation from Swedish that creates this phrase that is used by all citizens here. "Very, very welcome". It's incredibly charming, as are most every Swedish person you meet.
As he welcomes us to the program, he tells us a little about the University. First founded in 1666, not long after the Swedish Crown claimed Lund as their own. It seems the idea at the time was to educated their own priests and bring many students to the area to defend it from any Danish "take-backsies" that may have been plotted. It is for this reason that the school symbol is as it is:
A lion - armed with both a book and a sword. A symbol for the nobility of pursuing higher education, but also that the school was prepared to defend its city should the need arise. JB points out in jest that based on how many Danish students we have enrolled in the program, tensions have obviously defused over the last several centuries.
Lund University has been celebrating its 350th jubilee. Isn't that absolutely amazing?! JB tells us that we have now become part of this proud history. This institution is routinely ranked within the top 100 universities in the world. I feel a sense of pride in my heart, as I stand amongst my new friends, on this campus with such history and prestige. Am I really good enough to be here?
Our evening continues and the crowd eventually thins. I head home re-energized, but also with a renewed sense of fear that I'm in over my head. I spend the next several hours pouring over literature. I have no idea what is in store for me on our first day. But I intend to be ready for it.
***
Before I take you into my academic adventures, I need just a moment of your time.
It is through the efforts of many that I am here. My own work to make this dream a reality is but a fraction. I find myself drifting to sleep at night thinking of all the people in my life that helped me get here...
To the mighty and resilient STARS Winnipeg Base: my colleagues that I stand beside doing significant work. This is the adventure of my lifetime. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I hadn't applied for this job that I never thought I would actually get. If I hadn't grabbed on to it and learned how to believe in myself. Had I not worked alongside some of the most safety-focused, brilliant, talented, motivated, passionate, and dedicated minds that I have ever known. If I had never had a chance to work amongst some of my very finest friends. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you. The only thing better than the best job in the world, is being beside people who you truly love while you do it. You make me better every day that we are together. I am deeply thankful to be a member of your team. #7forever
To the leadership team at the base and the organization 'at large'. STARS has taught me the importance of commitment to safety, just culture, reporting, and having the bravery to do the honest, hard work of making patients safe. You have given me the inspiration to find this program and have supported me while I chased this dream - because you have the same goals for our organization as I do. I can only hope to repay STARS a fraction of what it has given to me.
To my boyfriend Aaron - who makes me laugh, believes in me whole-heartedly, and listens thoughtfully to all of my intense rambling. Thank you for helping me find my way here and convincing me on a fairly regular basis that I might actually be able to do this. My life is better because you are in it. I just really hope that I don't drive you away with the insanity that I'm certain will accompany two years of graduate school. I promise to stay as normal as I can. I love you. 💜
To my sister Steve, brother Kyle and my sweet Djibouti-boo (and King Louie) - I love you guys with my whole heart. Thanks for always making me part of your lives and your home. I don't know what I would do without you three incredibly special people.
To my Father - who left the world some 14 years ago. The invisible hand that guides me through life. I wish you were here so much. That you could see me and all of these things that I'm doing. When I got the email carrying my acceptance to this program, you were the person that I wanted to tell the most. And you are not here for these moments. I miss you terribly. I wish with my whole heart that you didn't have to miss this too. I hope you can see me Big Guy. I hope maybe this will make you proud. As with all things in my life, this is dedicated to you.
But most of all....
To my Mother - who has shown me the art of survival, resilience, generosity and humour. All things in my life would not be possible without your support. You have dropped everything to take phone calls, help me apply, and strategize ways we can make this work. You are still the only person that can truly reassure me when I need it the most. This has been possible because of your support and belief in my future.
So most of all - Mum, this one is for you.
****
So here goes nothing.
May the odds be ever in my favour.
